TOPICS
SPEAKERS
HOME
BROWSE TOPICS
BROWSE SPEAKERS
◀ BACK

Terry Pratchett Quotes

Writer
...
3
4
5
6
7
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--'
'I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict.
Strappi stared at him in rage that was incoherent until he managed to touch bottom again. 'Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city', he recovered.
From Monstrous Regiment
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--'
'I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict.
Strappi stared at him in rage that was incoherent until he managed to touch bottom again. 'Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city', he recovered.
From Monstrous Regiment
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.
From Reaper Man
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--'
'I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict.
Strappi stared at him in rage that was incoherent until he managed to touch bottom again. 'Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city', he recovered.
From Monstrous Regiment
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
...
3
4
5
6
7