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Terry Pratchett

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Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down out of the sky, reminding any thoughtful watcher that it is in the deserts and high places that religions are generated. When men see nothing but bottomless infinity over their heads they have always had a driving and desperate urge to find someone to put in the way.
From Jingo
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Sometimes the crime follows the punishment, which only serves to prove the foresight of the Great God."
"That's what my grandmother used to say," said Brutha automatically.
"Indeed? I would like to know more about this formidable lady."
"She used to give me a thrashing every morning because I would certainly do something to deserve it during the day," said Brutha.
"A most complete understanding of the nature of mankind,
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Philosophical
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Funny
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down out of the sky, reminding any thoughtful watcher that it is in the deserts and high places that religions are generated. When men see nothing but bottomless infinity over their heads they have always had a driving and desperate urge to find someone to put in the way.
From Jingo
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Sometimes the crime follows the punishment, which only serves to prove the foresight of the Great God."
"That's what my grandmother used to say," said Brutha automatically.
"Indeed? I would like to know more about this formidable lady."
"She used to give me a thrashing every morning because I would certainly do something to deserve it during the day," said Brutha.
"A most complete understanding of the nature of mankind,
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Philosophical
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Funny
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down out of the sky, reminding any thoughtful watcher that it is in the deserts and high places that religions are generated. When men see nothing but bottomless infinity over their heads they have always had a driving and desperate urge to find someone to put in the way.
From Jingo
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Sometimes the crime follows the punishment, which only serves to prove the foresight of the Great God."
"That's what my grandmother used to say," said Brutha automatically.
"Indeed? I would like to know more about this formidable lady."
"She used to give me a thrashing every morning because I would certainly do something to deserve it during the day," said Brutha.
"A most complete understanding of the nature of mankind,
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
From Soul Music
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
From Wyrd Sisters
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Philosophical
This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
From Hogfather
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
From Wintersmith
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Funny
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
From Reaper Man
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
From Mort
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
From Pyramids
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
From Sourcery
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.
From I Shall Wear Midnight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
From The Color of Magic
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."

"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.
From Feet of Clay
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
From Small Gods
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Religion
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