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Kurt Vonnegut

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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
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Moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work, since modern communications put him or her into daily competition with nothing but the world's champions.
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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
From Mother Night
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Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
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But people didn't have to pay as much attention to the awful truth. As the living legend of the cruel tyrant in the city and the gentle holy man in the jungle grew, so, too, did the happiness of the people grow. They were all employed full time as actors in a play they understood, that any human being anywhere could understand and applaud.
From Cat’s Cradle
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The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
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How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
From Slaughterhouse-Five
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Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?
From Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
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I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
From God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian
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And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.
From Mother Night
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Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
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Well finish your story anyway."

Where was I?"

The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses."

Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless night I stayed up with Father while he worked. It was all we could do to find a live patient to treat. In bed after bed after bed we found dead people.

And Father started giggling," Castle continued.

He couldn't stop. He walked out into the night with his flashlight. He was still giggling. He was making the flashlight beam dance over all the dead people stacked outside. He put his hand on my head and do you know what that marvelous man said to me?" asked Castle.

Nope."

'Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.
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I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.
From Jailbird
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The library is full of stories of supposed triumphs which makes me very suspicious of it. It's misleading for people to read about great successes, since even for middle-class and upper-class white people, in my experience, failure is the norm
From Hocus Pocus
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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
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Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
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Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber.
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There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.
From Breakfast of Champions
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Do you realize that all great literature — "Moby Dick," "Huckleberry Finn," "A Farewell to Arms," "The Scarlet Letter," "The Red Badge of Courage," "The Iliad and The Odyssey," "Crime and Punishment," the Bible, and "The Charge of the Light Brigade" — are all about what a bummer it is to be a ...human being?
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When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?
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Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go around looking for it, and I think it can be poisonous. I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, 'Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency'.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
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All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
From Timequake
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I speak gibberish to the civilized world and it replies in kind.
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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work, since modern communications put him or her into daily competition with nothing but the world's champions.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
From Mother Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
But people didn't have to pay as much attention to the awful truth. As the living legend of the cruel tyrant in the city and the gentle holy man in the jungle grew, so, too, did the happiness of the people grow. They were all employed full time as actors in a play they understood, that any human being anywhere could understand and applaud.
From Cat’s Cradle
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
From Slaughterhouse-Five
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?
From Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
From God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.
From Mother Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well finish your story anyway."

Where was I?"

The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses."

Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless night I stayed up with Father while he worked. It was all we could do to find a live patient to treat. In bed after bed after bed we found dead people.

And Father started giggling," Castle continued.

He couldn't stop. He walked out into the night with his flashlight. He was still giggling. He was making the flashlight beam dance over all the dead people stacked outside. He put his hand on my head and do you know what that marvelous man said to me?" asked Castle.

Nope."

'Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.
From Jailbird
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The library is full of stories of supposed triumphs which makes me very suspicious of it. It's misleading for people to read about great successes, since even for middle-class and upper-class white people, in my experience, failure is the norm
From Hocus Pocus
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.
From Breakfast of Champions
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Do you realize that all great literature — "Moby Dick," "Huckleberry Finn," "A Farewell to Arms," "The Scarlet Letter," "The Red Badge of Courage," "The Iliad and The Odyssey," "Crime and Punishment," the Bible, and "The Charge of the Light Brigade" — are all about what a bummer it is to be a ...human being?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go around looking for it, and I think it can be poisonous. I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, 'Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency'.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
From Timequake
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I speak gibberish to the civilized world and it replies in kind.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work, since modern communications put him or her into daily competition with nothing but the world's champions.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
From Mother Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
But people didn't have to pay as much attention to the awful truth. As the living legend of the cruel tyrant in the city and the gentle holy man in the jungle grew, so, too, did the happiness of the people grow. They were all employed full time as actors in a play they understood, that any human being anywhere could understand and applaud.
From Cat’s Cradle
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
From Slaughterhouse-Five
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?
From Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
From God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.
From Mother Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well finish your story anyway."

Where was I?"

The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses."

Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless night I stayed up with Father while he worked. It was all we could do to find a live patient to treat. In bed after bed after bed we found dead people.

And Father started giggling," Castle continued.

He couldn't stop. He walked out into the night with his flashlight. He was still giggling. He was making the flashlight beam dance over all the dead people stacked outside. He put his hand on my head and do you know what that marvelous man said to me?" asked Castle.

Nope."

'Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.
From Jailbird
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The library is full of stories of supposed triumphs which makes me very suspicious of it. It's misleading for people to read about great successes, since even for middle-class and upper-class white people, in my experience, failure is the norm
From Hocus Pocus
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.
From Breakfast of Champions
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Do you realize that all great literature — "Moby Dick," "Huckleberry Finn," "A Farewell to Arms," "The Scarlet Letter," "The Red Badge of Courage," "The Iliad and The Odyssey," "Crime and Punishment," the Bible, and "The Charge of the Light Brigade" — are all about what a bummer it is to be a ...human being?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go around looking for it, and I think it can be poisonous. I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, 'Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency'.
From Slapstick, or Lonesome No More!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
From Timequake
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I speak gibberish to the civilized world and it replies in kind.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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