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Ramani Durvasula

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Fear is the most powerful adhesive we have. Fear unites, because if two people are afraid, then even as the authentic ties that may have once bound them disappear, the fear ties are as sticky as a spider's web.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Narcissists are manipulative and masterful at twisting the situation and working the rules to get what they want. Even more frustrating, they will turn things around in such a way that you may ultimately give them what they want and exhaust yourself in the process. Early in a relationship, the manipulation is most often emotional (“I had a tough childhood, so sometimes I say things I do not mean” or “I am under a lot of stress, so I blew up—I didn’t really mean it”) and financial (masterfully getting you to take on disproportionately more financial responsibility, finding yourself spending money you do not have to keep your relationship going and your partner happy.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
If you are going to go to the trouble of choosing healthy food for your plate, shouldn't you also choose healthy people for your life?
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope
of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
When an accusation is thrown at you that does not fit you, when it doesn’t capture what you know to be true about yourself or your behavior, mentally flip it back on your partner. He is likely accusing you of what he is doing or feeling. Accusations can be about the narcissist’s own vulnerabilities and weaknesses (accusing you of being overly ambitious when he is ambitious, criticizing you for being unsuccessful or not making enough money when he is not feeling successful in that space)
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The fact is, many people do not know how treat themselves and are experts at putting themselves down. In fact, if most of us were in a relationship with ourselves, we would break up with us, given how badly we treat ourselves.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Your vulnerable partner may frequently put himself down and sometimes respond to positive feedback, but, in general, he is chronically self-critical and may seem neglectful or dejected most of the time. It often looks like depression. If this is your partner, you may become aware of this pattern over time through the absolute sense of isolation, neglect, and disconnection that unfolds.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The disconnect between the reality and the grandiose fantasy can make the narcissist angry, frustrated, sullen, and prone to lashing out. They are dreamers. When it comes to grandiosity and relationships is when narcissists talk about their “great love story” or the idea of an “ideal love.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
Fear is the most powerful adhesive we have. Fear unites, because if two people are afraid, then even as the authentic ties that may have once bound them disappear, the fear ties are as sticky as a spider's web.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Narcissists are manipulative and masterful at twisting the situation and working the rules to get what they want. Even more frustrating, they will turn things around in such a way that you may ultimately give them what they want and exhaust yourself in the process. Early in a relationship, the manipulation is most often emotional (“I had a tough childhood, so sometimes I say things I do not mean” or “I am under a lot of stress, so I blew up—I didn’t really mean it”) and financial (masterfully getting you to take on disproportionately more financial responsibility, finding yourself spending money you do not have to keep your relationship going and your partner happy.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
If you are going to go to the trouble of choosing healthy food for your plate, shouldn't you also choose healthy people for your life?
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope
of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
When an accusation is thrown at you that does not fit you, when it doesn’t capture what you know to be true about yourself or your behavior, mentally flip it back on your partner. He is likely accusing you of what he is doing or feeling. Accusations can be about the narcissist’s own vulnerabilities and weaknesses (accusing you of being overly ambitious when he is ambitious, criticizing you for being unsuccessful or not making enough money when he is not feeling successful in that space)
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The fact is, many people do not know how treat themselves and are experts at putting themselves down. In fact, if most of us were in a relationship with ourselves, we would break up with us, given how badly we treat ourselves.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Your vulnerable partner may frequently put himself down and sometimes respond to positive feedback, but, in general, he is chronically self-critical and may seem neglectful or dejected most of the time. It often looks like depression. If this is your partner, you may become aware of this pattern over time through the absolute sense of isolation, neglect, and disconnection that unfolds.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The disconnect between the reality and the grandiose fantasy can make the narcissist angry, frustrated, sullen, and prone to lashing out. They are dreamers. When it comes to grandiosity and relationships is when narcissists talk about their “great love story” or the idea of an “ideal love.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
Fear is the most powerful adhesive we have. Fear unites, because if two people are afraid, then even as the authentic ties that may have once bound them disappear, the fear ties are as sticky as a spider's web.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Narcissists are manipulative and masterful at twisting the situation and working the rules to get what they want. Even more frustrating, they will turn things around in such a way that you may ultimately give them what they want and exhaust yourself in the process. Early in a relationship, the manipulation is most often emotional (“I had a tough childhood, so sometimes I say things I do not mean” or “I am under a lot of stress, so I blew up—I didn’t really mean it”) and financial (masterfully getting you to take on disproportionately more financial responsibility, finding yourself spending money you do not have to keep your relationship going and your partner happy.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
If you are going to go to the trouble of choosing healthy food for your plate, shouldn't you also choose healthy people for your life?
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope
of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
When an accusation is thrown at you that does not fit you, when it doesn’t capture what you know to be true about yourself or your behavior, mentally flip it back on your partner. He is likely accusing you of what he is doing or feeling. Accusations can be about the narcissist’s own vulnerabilities and weaknesses (accusing you of being overly ambitious when he is ambitious, criticizing you for being unsuccessful or not making enough money when he is not feeling successful in that space)
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The fact is, many people do not know how treat themselves and are experts at putting themselves down. In fact, if most of us were in a relationship with ourselves, we would break up with us, given how badly we treat ourselves.
From You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
Your vulnerable partner may frequently put himself down and sometimes respond to positive feedback, but, in general, he is chronically self-critical and may seem neglectful or dejected most of the time. It often looks like depression. If this is your partner, you may become aware of this pattern over time through the absolute sense of isolation, neglect, and disconnection that unfolds.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
The disconnect between the reality and the grandiose fantasy can make the narcissist angry, frustrated, sullen, and prone to lashing out. They are dreamers. When it comes to grandiosity and relationships is when narcissists talk about their “great love story” or the idea of an “ideal love.
From Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist