QUOTES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

Be vigilant. There are real ciphers of life, love, joy, peace and good energy roaming. Some people call them the devils workmen. Others call them their exes, which to me is the same force. Keep your distance because their attempts to get close is to exchange breath.

Life doesn’t hurt you for being yourself. It hurts when you keep pretending to be someone you are not just to be loved, accepted, or understood. You lose pieces of yourself trying to fit into places you were never meant to belong. And one day, you realize the real pain was never rejection, it was forgetting who you were while trying to be enough for others.

Here’s the thing about withdrawal, from any drug, substance, person, or behavior: The reason it’s so excruciating is that not only do you have to feel the pain of losing access to that thing you desire more than anything else, but you also have to feel the pain of every other loss you have ever experienced along your life’s journey. All the previous failures, all the previous crashes, all the previous disappointments. It’s like a twenty-car pileup of failures on an icy highway, and there’s no way to get away from it. Worst of all, withdrawal forces you to feel your original suffering again—the deepest childhood grief or ancestral wound that started you out on this journey of addiction in the first place.

And who wants to feel that?

Trust people until they show you why you shouldn’t trust them. Don’t assume everyone will hurt you, but don’t ignore the signs when they do. Watch how they treat you when you have nothing to offer, that’s where truth hides. Protect your heart from pain, but don’t let fear stop you from feeling. A closed heart keeps you safe, but it also keeps you lonely. So trust but not blindly. Be cautious, but not closed.

I can’t even tell you when my love addiction got triggered with Rayya, or when I collapsed into the utter abandonment of self that is codependency in its most deadly and life-destroying form. I can’t name the exact moment when I made her into my higher power, or when I surrendered all my will and agency to her, or when I decided that it was my job in life to serve her every desire—no matter how much it cost me, physically, emotionally, or financially.

Child, you keep demanding impossible promises from those who cannot even take care of themselves.
But what joy have you ever derived from being so dependent and unassured, so needy, lost, and afraid?
You keep saying you want to count on somebody—
but I say stop counting.
You keep telling me you crave security because the world frightens you.
But the world, my love, is what you are.