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Eoin Colfer

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Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she...
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
From The Arctic Incident
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
From Artemis Fowl
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Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
From The Lost Colony
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You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.
This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.
From The Atlantis Complex
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
From The Lost Colony
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We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
From The Arctic Incident
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What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
From The Lost Colony
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Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."
Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.
"I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
From The Atlantis Complex
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Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
From Artemis Fowl Band 1-3
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
From The Time Paradox
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If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
From The Eternity Code
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Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
From The Time Paradox
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Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."

Myles: "In Paris."

Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"

Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"

Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."

Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"

Beckett: "Itchy what?
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Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
From Artemis Fowl
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Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
From The Time Paradox
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Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
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Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
From The Atlantis Complex
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It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
From The Time Paradox
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That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.
From The Eternity Code
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I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
From The Time Paradox
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
From The Time Paradox
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Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
From The Arctic Incident
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Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
From The Last Guardian
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Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she...
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
From Artemis Fowl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.
This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."
Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.
"I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
From Artemis Fowl Band 1-3
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
From The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."

Myles: "In Paris."

Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"

Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"

Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."

Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"

Beckett: "Itchy what?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
From Artemis Fowl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.
From The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
From The Last Guardian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she...
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
From Artemis Fowl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.
This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
From The Lost Colony
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."
Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.
"I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
From Artemis Fowl Band 1-3
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
From The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."

Myles: "In Paris."

Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"

Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"

Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."

Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"

Beckett: "Itchy what?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
From Artemis Fowl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
From The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.
From The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
From The Time Paradox
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
From The Arctic Incident
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
From The Last Guardian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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