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Erma Bombeck

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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Housework can kill you if done right.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Housework can kill you if done right.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote