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Jarod Kintz

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Pickleball is the greatest sport ever invented. Nowhere else will you see communities torn apart by opposing groups of Boomers, each battling over courts like rival gangs fighting over turf.
From Powdered Saxophone Music
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Topic: Sports
I’m a duck farmer, and that’s not something you go to school to be. If you did, there certainly wouldn’t be any kickball classes.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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Topic: Education
When people think about farmers, they think about people who grow things. Well, I'm a duck farmer, and what I grow is impatient waiting for some committee to recognize duck farming as an Olympic sport.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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Topic: Sports
My body is sore. I’m not very good at the sport called Sleeping. Like a waddling duck is to a marathon runner, so I am to a kitten. I need to practice more, maybe multiple times a day.
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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Topic: Sports
Yogurt is culture. Post-post-modern literature is not. I wish I'd have known that before I went to college to learn how to communicate with less efficiency than ducks, because it’s a spoonful that's hard to swallow at first.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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Topic: Education
If creatively traveling up an escalator on your back were an Olympic sport, every gold medalist would be geriatric. There should be a soap fragrance for muddy ducks that captures that athletic dominance.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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Topic: Sports
Golf is the only sport where you can't tell how good a player might be by glancing at their physical form. I've seen some real slobs shoot scores so low the number is almost their age.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
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Topic: Sports
In pickleball, you're supposed to stay out of the kitchen. I guess it's not a sport for women.
From Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
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Topic: Sports
Of all the sports, golf is certainly one of them. Well, almost certainly, and I think that’s what I love most about it.
From The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
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Topic: Sports
She said she had two brothers, one in heaven and one in college. I said, "Aww, sorry to hear about the one. Such a tragedy to lose a brother to debt servitude. Tell him to drop out and become a duck farmer before he's too indoctrinated.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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Topic: Education
I get naming your sports team gators, but ducks? Ducks are toothless, and they fight like pillows—all feathers and no punch—so what’s the point of them as your mascot, trying to make your opponent go to sleep on you?
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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Topic: Sports
Bryson DeChambeau uses science in the true sense of the word to improve his golf game. He experiments and analyzes data to get better, and this separates golf fans, because those who think that's not cool use all of their brain capacity just breathing, like amoebas, but dumber.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
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Topic: Sports
Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers.
From This Book Has No Title
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Topic: Funny
Pickleball is the greatest sport ever invented. Nowhere else will you see communities torn apart by opposing groups of Boomers, each battling over courts like rival gangs fighting over turf.
From Powdered Saxophone Music
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
I’m a duck farmer, and that’s not something you go to school to be. If you did, there certainly wouldn’t be any kickball classes.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
When people think about farmers, they think about people who grow things. Well, I'm a duck farmer, and what I grow is impatient waiting for some committee to recognize duck farming as an Olympic sport.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
My body is sore. I’m not very good at the sport called Sleeping. Like a waddling duck is to a marathon runner, so I am to a kitten. I need to practice more, maybe multiple times a day.
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Yogurt is culture. Post-post-modern literature is not. I wish I'd have known that before I went to college to learn how to communicate with less efficiency than ducks, because it’s a spoonful that's hard to swallow at first.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
If creatively traveling up an escalator on your back were an Olympic sport, every gold medalist would be geriatric. There should be a soap fragrance for muddy ducks that captures that athletic dominance.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Golf is the only sport where you can't tell how good a player might be by glancing at their physical form. I've seen some real slobs shoot scores so low the number is almost their age.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
In pickleball, you're supposed to stay out of the kitchen. I guess it's not a sport for women.
From Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Of all the sports, golf is certainly one of them. Well, almost certainly, and I think that’s what I love most about it.
From The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
She said she had two brothers, one in heaven and one in college. I said, "Aww, sorry to hear about the one. Such a tragedy to lose a brother to debt servitude. Tell him to drop out and become a duck farmer before he's too indoctrinated.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
I get naming your sports team gators, but ducks? Ducks are toothless, and they fight like pillows—all feathers and no punch—so what’s the point of them as your mascot, trying to make your opponent go to sleep on you?
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Bryson DeChambeau uses science in the true sense of the word to improve his golf game. He experiments and analyzes data to get better, and this separates golf fans, because those who think that's not cool use all of their brain capacity just breathing, like amoebas, but dumber.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers.
From This Book Has No Title
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Pickleball is the greatest sport ever invented. Nowhere else will you see communities torn apart by opposing groups of Boomers, each battling over courts like rival gangs fighting over turf.
From Powdered Saxophone Music
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
I’m a duck farmer, and that’s not something you go to school to be. If you did, there certainly wouldn’t be any kickball classes.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
When people think about farmers, they think about people who grow things. Well, I'm a duck farmer, and what I grow is impatient waiting for some committee to recognize duck farming as an Olympic sport.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
My body is sore. I’m not very good at the sport called Sleeping. Like a waddling duck is to a marathon runner, so I am to a kitten. I need to practice more, maybe multiple times a day.
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Yogurt is culture. Post-post-modern literature is not. I wish I'd have known that before I went to college to learn how to communicate with less efficiency than ducks, because it’s a spoonful that's hard to swallow at first.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
If creatively traveling up an escalator on your back were an Olympic sport, every gold medalist would be geriatric. There should be a soap fragrance for muddy ducks that captures that athletic dominance.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Golf is the only sport where you can't tell how good a player might be by glancing at their physical form. I've seen some real slobs shoot scores so low the number is almost their age.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
In pickleball, you're supposed to stay out of the kitchen. I guess it's not a sport for women.
From Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Of all the sports, golf is certainly one of them. Well, almost certainly, and I think that’s what I love most about it.
From The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
She said she had two brothers, one in heaven and one in college. I said, "Aww, sorry to hear about the one. Such a tragedy to lose a brother to debt servitude. Tell him to drop out and become a duck farmer before he's too indoctrinated.
From Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Education
I get naming your sports team gators, but ducks? Ducks are toothless, and they fight like pillows—all feathers and no punch—so what’s the point of them as your mascot, trying to make your opponent go to sleep on you?
From BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Bryson DeChambeau uses science in the true sense of the word to improve his golf game. He experiments and analyzes data to get better, and this separates golf fans, because those who think that's not cool use all of their brain capacity just breathing, like amoebas, but dumber.
From To be good at golf you must go full koala bear
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Sports
Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers.
From This Book Has No Title
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny