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Jasper Fforde

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Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Religion
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Life
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death
Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Religion
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Life
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death
Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Religion
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Life
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death, Funny
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Funny
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
NOT YET RATING
Topic: Death