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Jasper Fforde

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Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
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Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
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I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
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Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
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the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
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Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
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If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
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If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
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Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
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For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
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She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
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Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
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Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
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Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
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Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
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Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
From First Among Sequels
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
From Lost in a Good Book
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
From Something Rotten
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
From The Eyre Affair
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gogh, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
From The Big Over Easy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
From Lost in a Good Book
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
From Something Rotten
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
From First Among Sequels
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
From One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
From The Woman Who Died a Lot
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
From First Among Sequels
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote