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Jim Butcher

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She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't believe in faeries!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some."

Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Son. Everyone dies alone. That's what it is. It's a door. It's one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn't mean you've got to be alone before you go through the door. And believe me, you aren't alone on the other side.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you're saying?
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.
From My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
From Small Favor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't want to live in a world where the strong rule and the weak cower. I'd rather make a place where things are a little quieter. Where trolls stay the hell under their bridges and where elves don't come swooping out to snatch children from their cradles. Where vampires respect the limits, and where the faeries mind their p's and q's. My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. When things get strange, when what goes bump in the night flicks on the lights, when no one else can help you, give me a call. I'm in the book.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original."

Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't believe in faeries!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some."

Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Son. Everyone dies alone. That's what it is. It's a door. It's one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn't mean you've got to be alone before you go through the door. And believe me, you aren't alone on the other side.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you're saying?
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.
From My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
From Small Favor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't want to live in a world where the strong rule and the weak cower. I'd rather make a place where things are a little quieter. Where trolls stay the hell under their bridges and where elves don't come swooping out to snatch children from their cradles. Where vampires respect the limits, and where the faeries mind their p's and q's. My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. When things get strange, when what goes bump in the night flicks on the lights, when no one else can help you, give me a call. I'm in the book.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original."

Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't believe in faeries!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some."

Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Son. Everyone dies alone. That's what it is. It's a door. It's one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn't mean you've got to be alone before you go through the door. And believe me, you aren't alone on the other side.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.
From Summer Knight
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you're saying?
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.
From My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
From Small Favor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I don't want to live in a world where the strong rule and the weak cower. I'd rather make a place where things are a little quieter. Where trolls stay the hell under their bridges and where elves don't come swooping out to snatch children from their cradles. Where vampires respect the limits, and where the faeries mind their p's and q's. My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. When things get strange, when what goes bump in the night flicks on the lights, when no one else can help you, give me a call. I'm in the book.
From Storm Front
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.
From Dead Beat
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.
From Grave Peril
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original."

Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.
From Changes
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.
From Blood Rites
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.
From Death Masks
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.
From White Night
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
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