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John Green

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There was quite a lot of competitiveness about it, with everybody wanting to beat not only cancer itself, but also the other people in the room. Like, I realize that this is irrational, but when they tell you that you have, say, a 20 percent chance of living five years, the math kicks in and you figure that’s one in five . . . so you look around and think, as any healthy person would: I gotta outlast four of these bastards.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I figured something out," he said aloud. "The future is unpredictable."

Hassan said, "Sometimes the kafir likes to say massively obvious things in a really profound voice.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
He specialized in the murder of dreams, Hazel Grace...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
he is both the source of my happiness and the one i want to share it with.



i have to believe that’s a sign.
From Will Grayson, Will Grayson
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Happiness
I just want to do something that matters. Or be something that matters. I just want to matter.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Hazel has to realize that her mom was wrong when she said, “I won’t be a mother anymore.” The truth is, after Hazel dies (assuming she dies), her mom will still be her mom, just as my grandmother is still my grandmother even though she has died. As long as either person is still alive, that relationship survives. (It changes, but it survives.)
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
What I love about the sculpture is that it makes the bones that we are always walking and playing on manifest, like in a world that so often denies the reality of death and the reality that we are surrounded by and outnumbered by the dead. Here, is a very playful way of acknowledging that and acknowledging that and that always, whenever we play, whenever we live, we are living in both literal and metaphorical ways on the memory and bones of the dead.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Nineteenth-century preacher Henry Ward Beecher's last words were "Now comes the mystery." The poet Dylan Thomas, who liked a good drink at least as much as Alaska, said, "I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I do believe that's a record," before dying. Alaska's favorite was playwright Eugene O'Neill: "Born in a hotel room, and--God damn it--died in a hotel room." Even car-accident victims sometimes have time for last words. Princess Diana said, "Oh God. What's happened?" Movie star James Dean said, "They've got to see us," just before slamming his Porsche into another car. I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
But ultimately I do not believe that she was only matter. The rest of her must be recycled, too. I believe now that we are greater than the sum of our parts. If you take Alaska's genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people, and then you take the size and shape of her body, you do not get her. There is something else entirely. There is a part of her greater than the sum of her knowable parts. And that part has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Imagine others complexly.
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life, Philosophical
What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:
'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.
From Turtles All the Way Down
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Philosophical
You do not immortalize the lost by writing about them. Language buries, but does not resurrect.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Oh God, Alaska, I love you. I love you," and the Colonel whispered, "I'm so sorry, Pudge. I know you did," and I said, "No. Not past tense." She wasn't even a person anymore, just flesh rotting, but I loved her present tense.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Maybe 'Okay' will be our 'always'...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational
Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
There was quite a lot of competitiveness about it, with everybody wanting to beat not only cancer itself, but also the other people in the room. Like, I realize that this is irrational, but when they tell you that you have, say, a 20 percent chance of living five years, the math kicks in and you figure that’s one in five . . . so you look around and think, as any healthy person would: I gotta outlast four of these bastards.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I figured something out," he said aloud. "The future is unpredictable."

Hassan said, "Sometimes the kafir likes to say massively obvious things in a really profound voice.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
He specialized in the murder of dreams, Hazel Grace...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
he is both the source of my happiness and the one i want to share it with.



i have to believe that’s a sign.
From Will Grayson, Will Grayson
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Happiness
I just want to do something that matters. Or be something that matters. I just want to matter.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Hazel has to realize that her mom was wrong when she said, “I won’t be a mother anymore.” The truth is, after Hazel dies (assuming she dies), her mom will still be her mom, just as my grandmother is still my grandmother even though she has died. As long as either person is still alive, that relationship survives. (It changes, but it survives.)
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
What I love about the sculpture is that it makes the bones that we are always walking and playing on manifest, like in a world that so often denies the reality of death and the reality that we are surrounded by and outnumbered by the dead. Here, is a very playful way of acknowledging that and acknowledging that and that always, whenever we play, whenever we live, we are living in both literal and metaphorical ways on the memory and bones of the dead.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Nineteenth-century preacher Henry Ward Beecher's last words were "Now comes the mystery." The poet Dylan Thomas, who liked a good drink at least as much as Alaska, said, "I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I do believe that's a record," before dying. Alaska's favorite was playwright Eugene O'Neill: "Born in a hotel room, and--God damn it--died in a hotel room." Even car-accident victims sometimes have time for last words. Princess Diana said, "Oh God. What's happened?" Movie star James Dean said, "They've got to see us," just before slamming his Porsche into another car. I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
But ultimately I do not believe that she was only matter. The rest of her must be recycled, too. I believe now that we are greater than the sum of our parts. If you take Alaska's genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people, and then you take the size and shape of her body, you do not get her. There is something else entirely. There is a part of her greater than the sum of her knowable parts. And that part has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Imagine others complexly.
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life, Philosophical
What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:
'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.
From Turtles All the Way Down
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Philosophical
You do not immortalize the lost by writing about them. Language buries, but does not resurrect.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Oh God, Alaska, I love you. I love you," and the Colonel whispered, "I'm so sorry, Pudge. I know you did," and I said, "No. Not past tense." She wasn't even a person anymore, just flesh rotting, but I loved her present tense.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Maybe 'Okay' will be our 'always'...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational
Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
There was quite a lot of competitiveness about it, with everybody wanting to beat not only cancer itself, but also the other people in the room. Like, I realize that this is irrational, but when they tell you that you have, say, a 20 percent chance of living five years, the math kicks in and you figure that’s one in five . . . so you look around and think, as any healthy person would: I gotta outlast four of these bastards.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Life
Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I figured something out," he said aloud. "The future is unpredictable."

Hassan said, "Sometimes the kafir likes to say massively obvious things in a really profound voice.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
He specialized in the murder of dreams, Hazel Grace...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
he is both the source of my happiness and the one i want to share it with.



i have to believe that’s a sign.
From Will Grayson, Will Grayson
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Happiness
I just want to do something that matters. Or be something that matters. I just want to matter.
From An Abundance of Katherines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Hazel has to realize that her mom was wrong when she said, “I won’t be a mother anymore.” The truth is, after Hazel dies (assuming she dies), her mom will still be her mom, just as my grandmother is still my grandmother even though she has died. As long as either person is still alive, that relationship survives. (It changes, but it survives.)
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
What I love about the sculpture is that it makes the bones that we are always walking and playing on manifest, like in a world that so often denies the reality of death and the reality that we are surrounded by and outnumbered by the dead. Here, is a very playful way of acknowledging that and acknowledging that and that always, whenever we play, whenever we live, we are living in both literal and metaphorical ways on the memory and bones of the dead.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Nineteenth-century preacher Henry Ward Beecher's last words were "Now comes the mystery." The poet Dylan Thomas, who liked a good drink at least as much as Alaska, said, "I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I do believe that's a record," before dying. Alaska's favorite was playwright Eugene O'Neill: "Born in a hotel room, and--God damn it--died in a hotel room." Even car-accident victims sometimes have time for last words. Princess Diana said, "Oh God. What's happened?" Movie star James Dean said, "They've got to see us," just before slamming his Porsche into another car. I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
But ultimately I do not believe that she was only matter. The rest of her must be recycled, too. I believe now that we are greater than the sum of our parts. If you take Alaska's genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people, and then you take the size and shape of her body, you do not get her. There is something else entirely. There is a part of her greater than the sum of her knowable parts. And that part has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Imagine others complexly.
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational, Life, Philosophical
What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:
'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will
From Paper Towns
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.
From Turtles All the Way Down
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Philosophical
You do not immortalize the lost by writing about them. Language buries, but does not resurrect.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Life
Because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Oh God, Alaska, I love you. I love you," and the Colonel whispered, "I'm so sorry, Pudge. I know you did," and I said, "No. Not past tense." She wasn't even a person anymore, just flesh rotting, but I loved her present tense.
From Looking for Alaska
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death
Maybe 'Okay' will be our 'always'...
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Inspirational
Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)
From The Fault in Our Stars
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
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