Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
We are all born agnostics. Atheism and theism is sold to us.
From Divided & Conquered
Not being intimidated has the power to intimidate.
Sports benefit the spectators the least.
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Newspaper publishers profit greatly from the widespread belief that reading newspapers gives others the impression that one is smart or at least mature.
We are good to others only because we think that that is, or will be, good for us.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
If we really exist merely to fulfill God’s plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience.
Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.
Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
We are all born agnostics. Atheism and theism is sold to us.
From Divided & Conquered
Not being intimidated has the power to intimidate.
Sports benefit the spectators the least.
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Newspaper publishers profit greatly from the widespread belief that reading newspapers gives others the impression that one is smart or at least mature.
We are good to others only because we think that that is, or will be, good for us.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
If we really exist merely to fulfill God’s plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience.
Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.
Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
We are all born agnostics. Atheism and theism is sold to us.
From Divided & Conquered
Not being intimidated has the power to intimidate.
Sports benefit the spectators the least.
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Newspaper publishers profit greatly from the widespread belief that reading newspapers gives others the impression that one is smart or at least mature.
We are good to others only because we think that that is, or will be, good for us.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
If we really exist merely to fulfill God’s plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience.
Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.
Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
