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Richelle Mead

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She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Piece of Heaven?"

"No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Things die. But they don't always stay dead. Believe me, I know.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Inspirational
You were wrong. She really is the new general in town."
I smiled back, hoping he wasn't aware of my body's reaction to us standing so close. "Maybe. But, it's okay. You can still be colonel."
He arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you demote yourself? Colonel's right below general. What's that make you?"
I reached into my pocket and triumphantly flashed the CR-V keys I'd swiped when we'd come back inside. "The driver," I said.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one."

"Fondue?" he asked hopefully.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You used nunchucks on a moose?"
Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
For every bad thing in life, there are more good things to tip the balance.
From Succubus on Top
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
Life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what we want.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I'm pretty sure it was at me...not with me.
"Why is that funny?"
"Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious."
"Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed." I whined. "It's just one hour."

"How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on it while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
When he finished, he drank from the cup. Everyone else did too, so I followed suit.
And nearly choked to death.
It was like fire in liquid form. It took every ounce of strength I had to swallow it and not spray it on those around me.
"Wh...what is this?" I asked, coughing.
Viktoria grinned. "Vodka."
I peered at the glass. "No, it isn't. I've had vodka before."
"Not Russian vodka."
Apparently not.
From Blood Promise
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.”

He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.”

I grinned back.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."

Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."

"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade." Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.

"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.

"Pick. It's one or the other."

I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."

He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star. I wished someone would kill this radio.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Ah, well,ʺ said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. ʺI have it on good authority thereʹs going to be a new ‘gateʹ opening up soon over on the south side of the wall."

The truth dawned on me. ʺOh lord. Youʹre the one whoʹs been doling out C4.ʺ

ʺYou make it sound so easy,ʺ he said with a frown. ʺThat stuffʹs hard to get a hold of.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again.

So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance.

I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me.

I didn’t dignify that with a response.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
From The Fiery Heart
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But what are loyalty and caring really worth?"
"To me? Everything.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Relationships
What's up?" I asked.

You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."

It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."

What the hell kind of therapy are you in?
From Shadow Kiss
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try." (Adrian)
From Bloodlines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Relationships
How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on this while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier."
Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Piece of Heaven?"

"No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Things die. But they don't always stay dead. Believe me, I know.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Inspirational
You were wrong. She really is the new general in town."
I smiled back, hoping he wasn't aware of my body's reaction to us standing so close. "Maybe. But, it's okay. You can still be colonel."
He arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you demote yourself? Colonel's right below general. What's that make you?"
I reached into my pocket and triumphantly flashed the CR-V keys I'd swiped when we'd come back inside. "The driver," I said.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one."

"Fondue?" he asked hopefully.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You used nunchucks on a moose?"
Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
For every bad thing in life, there are more good things to tip the balance.
From Succubus on Top
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
Life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what we want.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I'm pretty sure it was at me...not with me.
"Why is that funny?"
"Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious."
"Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed." I whined. "It's just one hour."

"How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on it while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
When he finished, he drank from the cup. Everyone else did too, so I followed suit.
And nearly choked to death.
It was like fire in liquid form. It took every ounce of strength I had to swallow it and not spray it on those around me.
"Wh...what is this?" I asked, coughing.
Viktoria grinned. "Vodka."
I peered at the glass. "No, it isn't. I've had vodka before."
"Not Russian vodka."
Apparently not.
From Blood Promise
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.”

He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.”

I grinned back.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."

Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."

"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade." Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.

"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.

"Pick. It's one or the other."

I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."

He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star. I wished someone would kill this radio.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Ah, well,ʺ said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. ʺI have it on good authority thereʹs going to be a new ‘gateʹ opening up soon over on the south side of the wall."

The truth dawned on me. ʺOh lord. Youʹre the one whoʹs been doling out C4.ʺ

ʺYou make it sound so easy,ʺ he said with a frown. ʺThat stuffʹs hard to get a hold of.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again.

So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance.

I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me.

I didn’t dignify that with a response.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
From The Fiery Heart
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But what are loyalty and caring really worth?"
"To me? Everything.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Relationships
What's up?" I asked.

You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."

It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."

What the hell kind of therapy are you in?
From Shadow Kiss
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try." (Adrian)
From Bloodlines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Relationships
How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on this while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier."
Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Piece of Heaven?"

"No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Things die. But they don't always stay dead. Believe me, I know.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Death, Inspirational
You were wrong. She really is the new general in town."
I smiled back, hoping he wasn't aware of my body's reaction to us standing so close. "Maybe. But, it's okay. You can still be colonel."
He arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you demote yourself? Colonel's right below general. What's that make you?"
I reached into my pocket and triumphantly flashed the CR-V keys I'd swiped when we'd come back inside. "The driver," I said.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one."

"Fondue?" he asked hopefully.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You used nunchucks on a moose?"
Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
For every bad thing in life, there are more good things to tip the balance.
From Succubus on Top
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Hope
Life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what we want.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I'm pretty sure it was at me...not with me.
"Why is that funny?"
"Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious."
"Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed." I whined. "It's just one hour."

"How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on it while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
When he finished, he drank from the cup. Everyone else did too, so I followed suit.
And nearly choked to death.
It was like fire in liquid form. It took every ounce of strength I had to swallow it and not spray it on those around me.
"Wh...what is this?" I asked, coughing.
Viktoria grinned. "Vodka."
I peered at the glass. "No, it isn't. I've had vodka before."
"Not Russian vodka."
Apparently not.
From Blood Promise
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.”

He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.”

I grinned back.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."

Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."

"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade." Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.

"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.

"Pick. It's one or the other."

I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."

He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star. I wished someone would kill this radio.
From Frostbite
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Ah, well,ʺ said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. ʺI have it on good authority thereʹs going to be a new ‘gateʹ opening up soon over on the south side of the wall."

The truth dawned on me. ʺOh lord. Youʹre the one whoʹs been doling out C4.ʺ

ʺYou make it sound so easy,ʺ he said with a frown. ʺThat stuffʹs hard to get a hold of.
From Last Sacrifice
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again.

So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance.

I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me.

I didn’t dignify that with a response.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
From The Fiery Heart
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
But what are loyalty and caring really worth?"
"To me? Everything.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life, Relationships
What's up?" I asked.

You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."

It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."

What the hell kind of therapy are you in?
From Shadow Kiss
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try." (Adrian)
From Bloodlines
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
From The Indigo Spell
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Relationships
How do you feel right now?"
"I hurt like hell."
"You'll feel worse tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, better get a jump on this while you still feel...not as bad."
"What kind of logic is that?" I retorted.
From Vampire Academy
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier."
Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room.
From The Golden Lily
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
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