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P.G. Wodehouse

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It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
From The Girl in Blue
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It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
From Jeeves in the Morning
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He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
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What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
From Carry On, Jeeves
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He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
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She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
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She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
From Carry On, Jeeves
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I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
From My Man Jeeves
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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
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Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
From Love Among the Chickens
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You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
From Carry On, Jeeves
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
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You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.
From The Girl in Blue
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Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
From The Small Bachelor
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The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
From Mike and Psmith
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Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
From Right Ho, Jeeves
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The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
From Mike at Wrykyn
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Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
From The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology
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I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
From Love Among the Chickens
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
From The Adventures of Sally
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It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
From The Girl in Blue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
From Jeeves in the Morning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
From My Man Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
From Love Among the Chickens
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.
From The Girl in Blue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
From The Small Bachelor
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
From Mike and Psmith
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
From Right Ho, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
From Mike at Wrykyn
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
From The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
From Love Among the Chickens
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
From The Adventures of Sally
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
From The Girl in Blue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
From Jeeves in the Morning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
From My Man Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
From Love Among the Chickens
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
From Carry On, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.
From The Girl in Blue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
From The Small Bachelor
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
From Very Good, Jeeves!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
From The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
From Mike and Psmith
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
From Right Ho, Jeeves
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
From Mike at Wrykyn
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
From The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
From Love Among the Chickens
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
From The Adventures of Sally
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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