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Bill Watterson

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In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
From It's a Magical World
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The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: a Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
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I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.
From There's Treasure Everywhere
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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
From Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages, 1985-1995: An Exhibition Catalogue
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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
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To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
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Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
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Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
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CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
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From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.
From Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
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I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
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The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse
From It's a Magical World
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CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.
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Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
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I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
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You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg!
[Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.]
Hobbes: Look, it's just a game.
Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
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I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
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If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
From The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
From It's a Magical World
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: a Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.
From There's Treasure Everywhere
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
From Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages, 1985-1995: An Exhibition Catalogue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.
From Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse
From It's a Magical World
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg!
[Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.]
Hobbes: Look, it's just a game.
Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
From The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
From It's a Magical World
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: a Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.
From There's Treasure Everywhere
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
From Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages, 1985-1995: An Exhibition Catalogue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.
From Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse
From It's a Magical World
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
From The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
From The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg!
[Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.]
Hobbes: Look, it's just a game.
Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
From The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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