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Colleen Houck

Other
Were you always such a stubborn, blind, obtuse girl?”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“Yes, but in a more poetic way!”
“Well, here’s a poem for you. Get lost!
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Is it really you this time, Kells?”
“Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.”
He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are a feast for the senses.” I laughed. “I don’t know about a feast. Maybe just an hors d'oeuvre.” He took my hand and wrapped it around his arm. “Not an hors d'oeuvre. The dessert. And I plan to spoil my appetite.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Pulling the chair out for me, he invited me to sit.
I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes, I'd never make it.
He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "I know what you're thinking, and I'm not going to let you escape again. You can either take a seat and have dinner with me like a normal date," he grinned at his word choice, "or," he paused thoughtfully then threatened, "you can sit on my lap while I force-feed you.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Don’t allow yourself to become disheartened when the thread doesn’t suit or seems unsightly to you. Wait and watch. Be patient and devoted. As the threads twist and turn, you will begin to understand, and you will see the pattern finally materialize in all its splendor.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it's like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently.
From Tiger's Quest
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
It’s like this…a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that’s all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
To have regret is to be disappointed with yourself and your choices. Those who are wise, see their life like stepping stones across a great river. Everyone misses a stone from time to time. No one can cross the river without getting wet. Success is measured by your arrival on the other side, not on how muddy your shoes are. Regrets are only felt by those who do not understand life’s purpose. They become so disillusioned that they stand still in the river and do not take the next leap.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
You look about as trapped as a piglet at a baby back ribs cookoff.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
A girl can still admire, can’t she? Even those who can’t afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right? Knowing he wasn’t for me didn’t mean I couldn’t covet the merchandise.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad Ren standing next to the gorgeous racing motorcycle holding his helmet made my brain go numb. I had kind of a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs moment, only mine was more like a this-is-your-brain-on-seeing-Ren-in-tight-leather moment. If they’d been smart, the Ducati Company should have used him in a commercial and given him the bike for free.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
You must learn to take a step back and visualize the whole piece. If you focus only on the thread given to you, you lose sight of what it can become.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Were you always such a stubborn, blind, obtuse girl?”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“Yes, but in a more poetic way!”
“Well, here’s a poem for you. Get lost!
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Is it really you this time, Kells?”
“Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.”
He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are a feast for the senses.” I laughed. “I don’t know about a feast. Maybe just an hors d'oeuvre.” He took my hand and wrapped it around his arm. “Not an hors d'oeuvre. The dessert. And I plan to spoil my appetite.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Pulling the chair out for me, he invited me to sit.
I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes, I'd never make it.
He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "I know what you're thinking, and I'm not going to let you escape again. You can either take a seat and have dinner with me like a normal date," he grinned at his word choice, "or," he paused thoughtfully then threatened, "you can sit on my lap while I force-feed you.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Don’t allow yourself to become disheartened when the thread doesn’t suit or seems unsightly to you. Wait and watch. Be patient and devoted. As the threads twist and turn, you will begin to understand, and you will see the pattern finally materialize in all its splendor.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it's like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently.
From Tiger's Quest
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
It’s like this…a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that’s all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
To have regret is to be disappointed with yourself and your choices. Those who are wise, see their life like stepping stones across a great river. Everyone misses a stone from time to time. No one can cross the river without getting wet. Success is measured by your arrival on the other side, not on how muddy your shoes are. Regrets are only felt by those who do not understand life’s purpose. They become so disillusioned that they stand still in the river and do not take the next leap.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
You look about as trapped as a piglet at a baby back ribs cookoff.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
A girl can still admire, can’t she? Even those who can’t afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right? Knowing he wasn’t for me didn’t mean I couldn’t covet the merchandise.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad Ren standing next to the gorgeous racing motorcycle holding his helmet made my brain go numb. I had kind of a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs moment, only mine was more like a this-is-your-brain-on-seeing-Ren-in-tight-leather moment. If they’d been smart, the Ducati Company should have used him in a commercial and given him the bike for free.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
You must learn to take a step back and visualize the whole piece. If you focus only on the thread given to you, you lose sight of what it can become.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Were you always such a stubborn, blind, obtuse girl?”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“Yes, but in a more poetic way!”
“Well, here’s a poem for you. Get lost!
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Is it really you this time, Kells?”
“Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.”
He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are a feast for the senses.” I laughed. “I don’t know about a feast. Maybe just an hors d'oeuvre.” He took my hand and wrapped it around his arm. “Not an hors d'oeuvre. The dessert. And I plan to spoil my appetite.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Pulling the chair out for me, he invited me to sit.
I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes, I'd never make it.
He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "I know what you're thinking, and I'm not going to let you escape again. You can either take a seat and have dinner with me like a normal date," he grinned at his word choice, "or," he paused thoughtfully then threatened, "you can sit on my lap while I force-feed you.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Don’t allow yourself to become disheartened when the thread doesn’t suit or seems unsightly to you. Wait and watch. Be patient and devoted. As the threads twist and turn, you will begin to understand, and you will see the pattern finally materialize in all its splendor.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it's like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently.
From Tiger's Quest
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
It’s like this…a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that’s all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
To have regret is to be disappointed with yourself and your choices. Those who are wise, see their life like stepping stones across a great river. Everyone misses a stone from time to time. No one can cross the river without getting wet. Success is measured by your arrival on the other side, not on how muddy your shoes are. Regrets are only felt by those who do not understand life’s purpose. They become so disillusioned that they stand still in the river and do not take the next leap.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
You look about as trapped as a piglet at a baby back ribs cookoff.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
A girl can still admire, can’t she? Even those who can’t afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right? Knowing he wasn’t for me didn’t mean I couldn’t covet the merchandise.
From Tiger's Curse
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad Ren standing next to the gorgeous racing motorcycle holding his helmet made my brain go numb. I had kind of a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs moment, only mine was more like a this-is-your-brain-on-seeing-Ren-in-tight-leather moment. If they’d been smart, the Ducati Company should have used him in a commercial and given him the bike for free.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
You must learn to take a step back and visualize the whole piece. If you focus only on the thread given to you, you lose sight of what it can become.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Inspirational
A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny
He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through.
NOT YET RATING
▼
Topic: Funny