TOPICS
SPEAKERS
HOME
BROWSE TOPICS
BROWSE SPEAKERS
◀ BACK

Andy Weir

Writer
All religions are right in their own way
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Religion
He puts his claw against the divider. “Fist my bump.”

“Fist-bump. It’s just ‘fist-bump.’”

“Understand."
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Work fast."
"Yeah." I point at the screen. "First I have to wait for my computer to wake up."
"Hurry."
"Okay, I'll wait faster."
"Sarcasm.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny, Inspirational
I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Log Entry: SOL 118

My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:

Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?"

NASA: (After about 5 hours of deliberation) "No. You'll fuck it up and die."

So I took it apart.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Knock-knock-knock
No, that's not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Usually you not stupid. Why stupid, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Happiness
Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
All religions are right in their own way
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Religion
He puts his claw against the divider. “Fist my bump.”

“Fist-bump. It’s just ‘fist-bump.’”

“Understand."
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Work fast."
"Yeah." I point at the screen. "First I have to wait for my computer to wake up."
"Hurry."
"Okay, I'll wait faster."
"Sarcasm.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny, Inspirational
I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Log Entry: SOL 118

My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:

Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?"

NASA: (After about 5 hours of deliberation) "No. You'll fuck it up and die."

So I took it apart.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Knock-knock-knock
No, that's not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Usually you not stupid. Why stupid, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Happiness
Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
All religions are right in their own way
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Religion
He puts his claw against the divider. “Fist my bump.”

“Fist-bump. It’s just ‘fist-bump.’”

“Understand."
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Work fast."
"Yeah." I point at the screen. "First I have to wait for my computer to wake up."
"Hurry."
"Okay, I'll wait faster."
"Sarcasm.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny, Inspirational
I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Log Entry: SOL 118

My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:

Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?"

NASA: (After about 5 hours of deliberation) "No. You'll fuck it up and die."

So I took it apart.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Knock-knock-knock
No, that's not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.
From The Martian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Usually you not stupid. Why stupid, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny
Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.
From The Egg
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Happiness
Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?
From Project Hail Mary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Topic: Funny