Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
Actor/Performer
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Ellen DeGeneres, renowned comedian and talk show host, has inspired millions with her humor, warmth, and positive outlook. Her quotes reflect her insights on kindness, resilience, and finding joy in everyday life. Together, they offer laughter, inspiration, and encouragement to approach life with compassion and a lighthearted spirit.
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”
“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”
“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
From The Funny Thing Is...
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”
“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”
“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
From The Funny Thing Is...
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”
“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”
“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
From The Funny Thing Is...
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
From Seriously... I'm Kidding
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
