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Rick Riordan

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This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Erre es korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus cursed. "I will have your soul!
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?"
"Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."
"Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.
Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Leo frowned at the giant's spire. "Can't we blow it up or something?"
"Without me, you do not have the power," Hera said. "You might as well try to destroy a mountain."
"Done that once today," Jason said.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Stop!" Narcissus got to his feet. "This is not right! This person is obviously not awesome, so he must be..." He struggled for the right words. It had probably been a long time since he'd talked about anything other than himself. "He must be tricking us."

Apparently Narcissus wasn't completely stupid.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Holy mother!"
"Hmph. More like holy father. I'd think you'd know the difference."

-Hephaetus
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”

“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.

“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”

“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”

“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Otis," I said.

"Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis."

"I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."

Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.
From The Hammer of Thor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas.
"Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."
She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."
Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."
Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
[Leo] lunged at Passalos, but the red-furred dwarf was too quick. He sprang from his chair, bounced off Jason’s head, did a flip, and landed next to Leo, his hairy arms around Leo’s waist.
“Save me?” the dwarf pleaded.
“Get off!” Leo tried to shove him away, but Passalos did a backward somersault and landed out of reach. Leo’s pants promptly fell around his knees.
He stared at Passalos, who was now grinning and holding a small zigzaggy strip of metal. Somehow, the dwarf had stolen the zipper right off Leo’s pants.
“Give—stupid—zipper!” Leo stuttered, trying to shake his fist and hoist up his pants at the same time.
“Eh, not shiny enough.” Passalos tossed it away.
From The House of Hades
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Annabeth realized that if six of them went on these two quests, it would leave Percy alone on the ship with Coach Hedge, which was maybe not a situation a caring girlfriend should put him in. Nor was she eager to let Percy out of her sight again—not after they’d been apart for so many months.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Relationships
Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.
From The Titan's Curse
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I said hello to the poodle.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The sign was spray-painted in Arabic and English, probably from some attempt by the farmer to sell his wares in the market. The English read: Dates-best price. Cold Bebsi.
"Bebsi?" I asked.
"Pepsi," Walt said. "I read about it on the Internet. There's no 'p' in Arabic. Everyone here calls the soda Bebsi."
"So you have to have Bebsi with your bizza?"
"Brobably.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?"

I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. "Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”
“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Erre es korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus cursed. "I will have your soul!
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?"
"Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."
"Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.
Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Leo frowned at the giant's spire. "Can't we blow it up or something?"
"Without me, you do not have the power," Hera said. "You might as well try to destroy a mountain."
"Done that once today," Jason said.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Stop!" Narcissus got to his feet. "This is not right! This person is obviously not awesome, so he must be..." He struggled for the right words. It had probably been a long time since he'd talked about anything other than himself. "He must be tricking us."

Apparently Narcissus wasn't completely stupid.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Holy mother!"
"Hmph. More like holy father. I'd think you'd know the difference."

-Hephaetus
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”

“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.

“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”

“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”

“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Otis," I said.

"Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis."

"I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."

Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.
From The Hammer of Thor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas.
"Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."
She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."
Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."
Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
[Leo] lunged at Passalos, but the red-furred dwarf was too quick. He sprang from his chair, bounced off Jason’s head, did a flip, and landed next to Leo, his hairy arms around Leo’s waist.
“Save me?” the dwarf pleaded.
“Get off!” Leo tried to shove him away, but Passalos did a backward somersault and landed out of reach. Leo’s pants promptly fell around his knees.
He stared at Passalos, who was now grinning and holding a small zigzaggy strip of metal. Somehow, the dwarf had stolen the zipper right off Leo’s pants.
“Give—stupid—zipper!” Leo stuttered, trying to shake his fist and hoist up his pants at the same time.
“Eh, not shiny enough.” Passalos tossed it away.
From The House of Hades
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Annabeth realized that if six of them went on these two quests, it would leave Percy alone on the ship with Coach Hedge, which was maybe not a situation a caring girlfriend should put him in. Nor was she eager to let Percy out of her sight again—not after they’d been apart for so many months.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Relationships
Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.
From The Titan's Curse
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I said hello to the poodle.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The sign was spray-painted in Arabic and English, probably from some attempt by the farmer to sell his wares in the market. The English read: Dates-best price. Cold Bebsi.
"Bebsi?" I asked.
"Pepsi," Walt said. "I read about it on the Internet. There's no 'p' in Arabic. Everyone here calls the soda Bebsi."
"So you have to have Bebsi with your bizza?"
"Brobably.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?"

I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. "Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”
“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Erre es korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus cursed. "I will have your soul!
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?"
"Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."
"Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.
Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Leo frowned at the giant's spire. "Can't we blow it up or something?"
"Without me, you do not have the power," Hera said. "You might as well try to destroy a mountain."
"Done that once today," Jason said.
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Stop!" Narcissus got to his feet. "This is not right! This person is obviously not awesome, so he must be..." He struggled for the right words. It had probably been a long time since he'd talked about anything other than himself. "He must be tricking us."

Apparently Narcissus wasn't completely stupid.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Holy mother!"
"Hmph. More like holy father. I'd think you'd know the difference."

-Hephaetus
From The Lost Hero
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”

“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.

“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”

“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”

“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Otis," I said.

"Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis."

"I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."

Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.
From The Hammer of Thor
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas.
"Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."
She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."
Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."
Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
[Leo] lunged at Passalos, but the red-furred dwarf was too quick. He sprang from his chair, bounced off Jason’s head, did a flip, and landed next to Leo, his hairy arms around Leo’s waist.
“Save me?” the dwarf pleaded.
“Get off!” Leo tried to shove him away, but Passalos did a backward somersault and landed out of reach. Leo’s pants promptly fell around his knees.
He stared at Passalos, who was now grinning and holding a small zigzaggy strip of metal. Somehow, the dwarf had stolen the zipper right off Leo’s pants.
“Give—stupid—zipper!” Leo stuttered, trying to shake his fist and hoist up his pants at the same time.
“Eh, not shiny enough.” Passalos tossed it away.
From The House of Hades
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Annabeth realized that if six of them went on these two quests, it would leave Percy alone on the ship with Coach Hedge, which was maybe not a situation a caring girlfriend should put him in. Nor was she eager to let Percy out of her sight again—not after they’d been apart for so many months.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Relationships
Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.
From The Titan's Curse
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I said hello to the poodle.
From The Lightning Thief
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
The sign was spray-painted in Arabic and English, probably from some attempt by the farmer to sell his wares in the market. The English read: Dates-best price. Cold Bebsi.
"Bebsi?" I asked.
"Pepsi," Walt said. "I read about it on the Internet. There's no 'p' in Arabic. Everyone here calls the soda Bebsi."
"So you have to have Bebsi with your bizza?"
"Brobably.
From The Throne of Fire
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?"

I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. "Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.
From The Last Olympian
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”
“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.
From The Mark of Athena
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
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