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Steve Martin

Actor/Performer

Steve Martin, celebrated comedian, actor, and writer, has entertained audiences with his unique blend of humor and intelligence. His quotes reflect his wit, creativity, and thoughtful perspective on life, art, and human nature. Together, they offer laughter, inspiration, and timeless insights that encourage both joy and reflection.

Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
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Topic: Funny
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Topic: Funny
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Topic: Funny
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
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Topic: Funny
Be so good they can't ignore you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Be so good they can't ignore you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Philosophical
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Filmmaking
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Be so good they can't ignore you.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Life
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny, Religion
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
NOT YET RATING ▼
Topic: Funny