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Steve Martin

Actor/Performer

Steve Martin, celebrated comedian, actor, and writer, has entertained audiences with his unique blend of humor and intelligence. His quotes reflect his wit, creativity, and thoughtful perspective on life, art, and human nature. Together, they offer laughter, inspiration, and timeless insights that encourage both joy and reflection.

NOT YET RATED▼
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
Topic: Philosophical
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Topic: Life
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.
From The Pleasure of My Company
Topic: Love
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Topic: Funny, Religion
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
Topic: Philosophical
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Topic: Life
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.
From The Pleasure of My Company
Topic: Love
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Topic: Funny, Religion
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
Topic: Philosophical
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
Topic: Filmmaking
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Topic: Life
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.
From The Pleasure of My Company
Topic: Love
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Topic: Funny, Religion
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin
NOT YET RATED▼
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Topic: Funny
Steve Martin