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Steve Martin Quotes

Actor/Performer

Steve Martin, celebrated comedian, actor, and writer, has entertained audiences with his unique blend of humor and intelligence. His quotes reflect his wit, creativity, and thoughtful perspective on life, art, and human nature. Together, they offer laughter, inspiration, and timeless insights that encourage both joy and reflection.

Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
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I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
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Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
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Be so good they can't ignore you.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
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Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
From Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote