Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).
From On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
From Divided & Conquered
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Most people are subconsciously waiting for some people to be rich, or to appear on TV, before they start considering the idea of considering their advice or ideas.
When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.
We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.
Those who regularly use a TV are the most likely to occasionally use a CV.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
From N for Nigger: Aphorisms for Grown Children and Childish Grown-ups
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.