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Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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Rae burned me. She has matches or something. Look, look..." Tori pulled down the collar of her T-shirt.
"Leave your cloths on, Tori," Simon said, raising his hands to his eyes. "Please.
- Kelley Armstrong
The Summoning
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Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.
- Emma Chase
Tangled
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What's with what you're wearing?" Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others.
"It's pretty hideous, isn't it?" I say.
"Don't force me to look at it," he says. "It's see-through."

That kills conversation for a couple of seconds.
- Melina Marchetta
On the Jellicoe Road
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.
- Michael J. Sullivan
Heir of Novron
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I guess the sacrifice of my dignity is the only thing that will save us now. The things I endure for love. The Fates laugh at my torment.
- Julie Kagawa
The Iron King
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
- Richelle Mead
The Fiery Heart
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The door opened.
"We're here," said Mrs. Rogers.
Aunt Myra came in.
"Now!" said Amelia Bedelia.
"Greetings, greetings, greetings,"
said the three children.
"What's that about?" said Mrs. Rogers.
"You said to greet Aunt Myra with Carols," said Amelia Bedelia.
"Here's Carol Lee, Carol Green, and Carol Lake."
"What lovely Carols," said Aunt Myra.
"Thank you.
- Peggy Parish
Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess."

"Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane.
- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Night Embrace
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
- Patrick Ness
The Ask and the Answer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.
- R.J. Palacio
Wonder
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
- John Gottman (
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
- Terry Pratchett
Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog.
"Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood.
With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Mark Twain
Christian Science
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
- Eoin Colfer
The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.
- Jess C. Scott
Literary Heroin (Gluttony): A Twilight Parody
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.
- John Green
Paper Towns
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
- Jim Butcher
Grave Peril
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd damn well tell him myself.
- Rachel Vincent
Rogue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,
- Jeaniene Frost
Once Burned
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Rae burned me. She has matches or something. Look, look..." Tori pulled down the collar of her T-shirt.
"Leave your cloths on, Tori," Simon said, raising his hands to his eyes. "Please.
- Kelley Armstrong
The Summoning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.
- Emma Chase
Tangled
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's with what you're wearing?" Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others.
"It's pretty hideous, isn't it?" I say.
"Don't force me to look at it," he says. "It's see-through."

That kills conversation for a couple of seconds.
- Melina Marchetta
On the Jellicoe Road
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.
- Michael J. Sullivan
Heir of Novron
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I guess the sacrifice of my dignity is the only thing that will save us now. The things I endure for love. The Fates laugh at my torment.
- Julie Kagawa
The Iron King
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
- Richelle Mead
The Fiery Heart
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The door opened.
"We're here," said Mrs. Rogers.
Aunt Myra came in.
"Now!" said Amelia Bedelia.
"Greetings, greetings, greetings,"
said the three children.
"What's that about?" said Mrs. Rogers.
"You said to greet Aunt Myra with Carols," said Amelia Bedelia.
"Here's Carol Lee, Carol Green, and Carol Lake."
"What lovely Carols," said Aunt Myra.
"Thank you.
- Peggy Parish
Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess."

"Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane.
- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Night Embrace
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
- Patrick Ness
The Ask and the Answer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.
- R.J. Palacio
Wonder
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
- John Gottman (
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
- Terry Pratchett
Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog.
"Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood.
With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Mark Twain
Christian Science
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
- Eoin Colfer
The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.
- Jess C. Scott
Literary Heroin (Gluttony): A Twilight Parody
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.
- John Green
Paper Towns
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
- Jim Butcher
Grave Peril
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd damn well tell him myself.
- Rachel Vincent
Rogue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,
- Jeaniene Frost
Once Burned
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Rae burned me. She has matches or something. Look, look..." Tori pulled down the collar of her T-shirt.
"Leave your cloths on, Tori," Simon said, raising his hands to his eyes. "Please.
- Kelley Armstrong
The Summoning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.
- Emma Chase
Tangled
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What's with what you're wearing?" Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others.
"It's pretty hideous, isn't it?" I say.
"Don't force me to look at it," he says. "It's see-through."

That kills conversation for a couple of seconds.
- Melina Marchetta
On the Jellicoe Road
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.
- Michael J. Sullivan
Heir of Novron
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I guess the sacrifice of my dignity is the only thing that will save us now. The things I endure for love. The Fates laugh at my torment.
- Julie Kagawa
The Iron King
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school."

"Oh I believe it," I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.

No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from.
- Richelle Mead
The Fiery Heart
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The door opened.
"We're here," said Mrs. Rogers.
Aunt Myra came in.
"Now!" said Amelia Bedelia.
"Greetings, greetings, greetings,"
said the three children.
"What's that about?" said Mrs. Rogers.
"You said to greet Aunt Myra with Carols," said Amelia Bedelia.
"Here's Carol Lee, Carol Green, and Carol Lake."
"What lovely Carols," said Aunt Myra.
"Thank you.
- Peggy Parish
Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess."

"Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane.
- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Night Embrace
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
- Patrick Ness
The Ask and the Answer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.
- R.J. Palacio
Wonder
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
- John Gottman (
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
- Terry Pratchett
Small Gods
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog.
"Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood.
With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Mark Twain
Christian Science
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
- Eoin Colfer
The Atlantis Complex
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.
- Jess C. Scott
Literary Heroin (Gluttony): A Twilight Parody
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.
- John Green
Paper Towns
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
- Jim Butcher
Grave Peril
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd damn well tell him myself.
- Rachel Vincent
Rogue
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,
- Jeaniene Frost
Once Burned
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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103
104
105
106
107
 		...