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Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
- Janet Evanovich
Two for the Dough
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I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson
- One Direction
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It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
- Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones’s Diary
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I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.
- Ernest Cline
Ready Player One
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Har. Bloody. Har.
- Stephanie Perkins
Anna and the French Kiss
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A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
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Hale." Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"

What can I say?" He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason." He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."

Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?
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First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard.
- Jeaniene Frost
Eternal Kiss of Darkness
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Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
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The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this." Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck.
- Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas
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Well, even if the serpent bites off your head,” says Tatterfell, “the rest of you will still look good.”

“That’s the spirit,” I tell her.
- Holly Black
The Queen of Nothing
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Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.
- Alice Hoffman
Practical Magic
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I like pink."
Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.
- Beth Fantaskey
Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
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When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.
- Brandon Mull
Grip of the Shadow Plague
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Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.
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A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don't later fray.
- Marcia Carrington
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I loved you way before you ever had a chance to put a spell on me. I loved you at 'I've never been to Long Island,'" Zach said.
I couldn't keep a big goofy grin from my face.
I loved you at 'I like seals,'" I admitted. He grinned back.
- Meg Cabot
Jinx
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Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning.
- Rick Riordan
The Throne of Fire
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
- Jasper Fforde
One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
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Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."

She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
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I have never heard a lady say 'arse,'" the emperor said mildly.
"I haven't been a lady for long," I reminded him. A little demon–made of exhaustion and the emperors smile– pushed me into adding,"For five years I've been saying 'arse.' It's hard to stop saying 'arse' after that many years. I suppose I should stop saying 'arse,' since ladies don't say-"
"'Arse'," he finished for me.
I met his grin.
- Alison Goodman
Eona: The Last Dragoneye
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When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
- Jim Butcher
Changes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
- Janet Evanovich
Two for the Dough
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson
- One Direction
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
- Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones’s Diary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.
- Ernest Cline
Ready Player One
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Har. Bloody. Har.
- Stephanie Perkins
Anna and the French Kiss
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hale." Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"

What can I say?" He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason." He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."

Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard.
- Jeaniene Frost
Eternal Kiss of Darkness
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this." Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck.
- Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well, even if the serpent bites off your head,” says Tatterfell, “the rest of you will still look good.”

“That’s the spirit,” I tell her.
- Holly Black
The Queen of Nothing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.
- Alice Hoffman
Practical Magic
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like pink."
Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.
- Beth Fantaskey
Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.
- Brandon Mull
Grip of the Shadow Plague
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don't later fray.
- Marcia Carrington
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I loved you way before you ever had a chance to put a spell on me. I loved you at 'I've never been to Long Island,'" Zach said.
I couldn't keep a big goofy grin from my face.
I loved you at 'I like seals,'" I admitted. He grinned back.
- Meg Cabot
Jinx
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning.
- Rick Riordan
The Throne of Fire
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
- Jasper Fforde
One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."

She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have never heard a lady say 'arse,'" the emperor said mildly.
"I haven't been a lady for long," I reminded him. A little demon–made of exhaustion and the emperors smile– pushed me into adding,"For five years I've been saying 'arse.' It's hard to stop saying 'arse' after that many years. I suppose I should stop saying 'arse,' since ladies don't say-"
"'Arse'," he finished for me.
I met his grin.
- Alison Goodman
Eona: The Last Dragoneye
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
- Jim Butcher
Changes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
- Janet Evanovich
Two for the Dough
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson
- One Direction
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
- Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones’s Diary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.
- Ernest Cline
Ready Player One
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Har. Bloody. Har.
- Stephanie Perkins
Anna and the French Kiss
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hale." Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"

What can I say?" He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason." He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."

Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard.
- Jeaniene Frost
Eternal Kiss of Darkness
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this." Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck.
- Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well, even if the serpent bites off your head,” says Tatterfell, “the rest of you will still look good.”

“That’s the spirit,” I tell her.
- Holly Black
The Queen of Nothing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.
- Alice Hoffman
Practical Magic
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like pink."
Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.
- Beth Fantaskey
Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.
- Brandon Mull
Grip of the Shadow Plague
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don't later fray.
- Marcia Carrington
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I loved you way before you ever had a chance to put a spell on me. I loved you at 'I've never been to Long Island,'" Zach said.
I couldn't keep a big goofy grin from my face.
I loved you at 'I like seals,'" I admitted. He grinned back.
- Meg Cabot
Jinx
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning.
- Rick Riordan
The Throne of Fire
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.
- Jasper Fforde
One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."

She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good.
- Rachel Caine
Ghost Town
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have never heard a lady say 'arse,'" the emperor said mildly.
"I haven't been a lady for long," I reminded him. A little demon–made of exhaustion and the emperors smile– pushed me into adding,"For five years I've been saying 'arse.' It's hard to stop saying 'arse' after that many years. I suppose I should stop saying 'arse,' since ladies don't say-"
"'Arse'," he finished for me.
I met his grin.
- Alison Goodman
Eona: The Last Dragoneye
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.
- Jim Butcher
Changes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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