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FUNNY QUOTES

Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.    Back

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Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.
- Margaret Mitchell
Gone with the Wind
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It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.

And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.
- Marian Keyes
Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
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Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.
- Laurell K. Hamilton
The Laughing Corpse
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
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Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.
- Margaret Mitchell
Gone with the Wind
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.

And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.
- Marian Keyes
Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.
- Laurell K. Hamilton
The Laughing Corpse
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.
- Margaret Mitchell
Gone with the Wind
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.

And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.
- Marian Keyes
Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.
- Laurell K. Hamilton
The Laughing Corpse
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
- George Carlin
Brain Droppings
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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