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Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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We have to be back in three hours," Ronan said. "I just fed Chainsaw but she'll need it again."

"This," Gansey replied "is precisely why I didn't want to have a baby with you.
- Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven Boys
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce
The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there.
- Albert Camus
The Stranger
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Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
- Richelle Mead
The Indigo Spell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This book was written using 100% recycled words.
- Terry Pratchett
Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."
Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?"
"With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."
Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"
This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing.
"Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that...
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
- Michel de Montaigne
The Complete Essays
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.
- Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.
- Douglas Adams
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.
- Peter Ustinov
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
- Roald Dahl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
- Woody Allen
Hannah and Her Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"
Draco was on the upper landing, pleading with another masked Death Eater. Harry Stunned the Death Eater as they passed: Malfoy looked around, beaming, for his savior, and Ron punched him from under the cloak. Malfoy fell backward on top of the Death Eater, his mouth bleeding, utterly bemused.
"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" Ron yelled.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'
“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.
- Suzanne Wright
Feral Sins
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face.
- James Dashner
The Death Cure
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We have to be back in three hours," Ronan said. "I just fed Chainsaw but she'll need it again."

"This," Gansey replied "is precisely why I didn't want to have a baby with you.
- Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven Boys
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce
The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there.
- Albert Camus
The Stranger
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
- Richelle Mead
The Indigo Spell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This book was written using 100% recycled words.
- Terry Pratchett
Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."
Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?"
"With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."
Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"
This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing.
"Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that...
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
- Michel de Montaigne
The Complete Essays
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.
- Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.
- Douglas Adams
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.
- Peter Ustinov
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
- Roald Dahl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
- Woody Allen
Hannah and Her Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"
Draco was on the upper landing, pleading with another masked Death Eater. Harry Stunned the Death Eater as they passed: Malfoy looked around, beaming, for his savior, and Ron punched him from under the cloak. Malfoy fell backward on top of the Death Eater, his mouth bleeding, utterly bemused.
"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" Ron yelled.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'
“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.
- Suzanne Wright
Feral Sins
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face.
- James Dashner
The Death Cure
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We have to be back in three hours," Ronan said. "I just fed Chainsaw but she'll need it again."

"This," Gansey replied "is precisely why I didn't want to have a baby with you.
- Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven Boys
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce
The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there.
- Albert Camus
The Stranger
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're already half in love with me."

"I am not! And everything you just said is ridiculous. That's terrible logic."

Adrian returned to his crossword puzzle. "Well, you can think what you want, so long as you remember-no matter how ordinary things seem between us-I'm still here, still in love with you, and care about you more than any other guy, evil or otherwise, ever will."

"I don't think you're evil."

"See? Things are already looking promising.
- Richelle Mead
The Indigo Spell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This book was written using 100% recycled words.
- Terry Pratchett
Wyrd Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."
Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?"
"With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."
Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"
This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing.
"Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that...
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
- Michel de Montaigne
The Complete Essays
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.
- Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.
- Douglas Adams
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.
- Peter Ustinov
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
- Roald Dahl
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
- Woody Allen
Hannah and Her Sisters
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"
Draco was on the upper landing, pleading with another masked Death Eater. Harry Stunned the Death Eater as they passed: Malfoy looked around, beaming, for his savior, and Ron punched him from under the cloak. Malfoy fell backward on top of the Death Eater, his mouth bleeding, utterly bemused.
"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" Ron yelled.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'
“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.
- Suzanne Wright
Feral Sins
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face.
- James Dashner
The Death Cure
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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113
114
115
116
117
 		...