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Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.
- Jeff Kinney
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My misery is reaching epidemic proportions.
- Libba Bray
A Great and Terrible Beauty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.
- Jim Butcher
Proven Guilty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony.
- Jenny Colgan
Meet Me at the Cupcake Café
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
- Demetri Martin
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
- Richelle Mead
Vampire Academy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It smells terrible in here.'

Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.
- John Kennedy Toole
A Confederacy of Dunces
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know.
- W.H. Auden
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Are you okay? You seem ...soggy."
"Soggy?"
"Yes." Heather nodded. "Like you're a depressed spaghetti noodle or something.
- Chelsea Fine
Anew
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mr Lorry asks the witness questions:

Ever been kicked?
Might have been.
Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs?
Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord.
- Charles Dickens
A Tale of Two Cities
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
- Colette
Gigi and The Cat
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dear Asshole: Thank you for keeping your word and believing me. It was more than I expected. Also, I'm sorry you were inconvenienced by my gluing your locker shut at the beginning of this year. However, I am not sorry that I did it, because it was a lot of fun. Love, Alex.
- Francesca Zappia
Made You Up
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend will be sitting next to you
Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up.
- Cheyenne McCray
Demons Not Included
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?
- Lauren Kate
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you
bring it?"

"My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?"

His smile widened. "I brought mine."

Daphne gasped. "You didn't!"

"I did. Just to torture Mother. I'm going peruse it right in front of her, pull out my quizzing glass—"

"You don't have a quizzing glass."

He grinned—the slow, devastatingly wicked smile that all Bridgerton males seemed to possess. "I bought one just for this occasion."

"Anthony, you absolutely cannot. She will kill you. And then, somehow, she'll find a way to blame me."

"I'm counting on it.
- Julia Quinn
The Duke and I
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.
- Jennifer Egan
A Visit from the Goon Squad
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.
- Cherie Priest
Dreadnought
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.
- Gena Showalter
The Darkest Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!
- Morgan Matson
Amy & Roger's Epic Detour
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.
- Jeri Smith-Ready
Requiem for the Devil
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
- E.A. Bucchianeri
Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In the English language, it all comes down to this: Twenty-six letters, when combined correctly, can create magic. Twenty -six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society.
- John Grogan
Bad Dogs Have More Fun: Selected Writings on Family, Animals, and Life from The Philadelphia Inquirer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Come to think of it, she did not speak a word. Yet I could have sworn she had the most beautiful voice.
- Julie Klassen
The Silent Governess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.
- Jeff Kinney
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My misery is reaching epidemic proportions.
- Libba Bray
A Great and Terrible Beauty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.
- Jim Butcher
Proven Guilty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony.
- Jenny Colgan
Meet Me at the Cupcake Café
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
- Demetri Martin
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
- Richelle Mead
Vampire Academy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It smells terrible in here.'

Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.
- John Kennedy Toole
A Confederacy of Dunces
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know.
- W.H. Auden
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Are you okay? You seem ...soggy."
"Soggy?"
"Yes." Heather nodded. "Like you're a depressed spaghetti noodle or something.
- Chelsea Fine
Anew
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mr Lorry asks the witness questions:

Ever been kicked?
Might have been.
Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs?
Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord.
- Charles Dickens
A Tale of Two Cities
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
- Colette
Gigi and The Cat
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dear Asshole: Thank you for keeping your word and believing me. It was more than I expected. Also, I'm sorry you were inconvenienced by my gluing your locker shut at the beginning of this year. However, I am not sorry that I did it, because it was a lot of fun. Love, Alex.
- Francesca Zappia
Made You Up
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend will be sitting next to you
Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up.
- Cheyenne McCray
Demons Not Included
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?
- Lauren Kate
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you
bring it?"

"My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?"

His smile widened. "I brought mine."

Daphne gasped. "You didn't!"

"I did. Just to torture Mother. I'm going peruse it right in front of her, pull out my quizzing glass—"

"You don't have a quizzing glass."

He grinned—the slow, devastatingly wicked smile that all Bridgerton males seemed to possess. "I bought one just for this occasion."

"Anthony, you absolutely cannot. She will kill you. And then, somehow, she'll find a way to blame me."

"I'm counting on it.
- Julia Quinn
The Duke and I
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.
- Jennifer Egan
A Visit from the Goon Squad
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.
- Cherie Priest
Dreadnought
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.
- Gena Showalter
The Darkest Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!
- Morgan Matson
Amy & Roger's Epic Detour
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.
- Jeri Smith-Ready
Requiem for the Devil
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
- E.A. Bucchianeri
Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In the English language, it all comes down to this: Twenty-six letters, when combined correctly, can create magic. Twenty -six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society.
- John Grogan
Bad Dogs Have More Fun: Selected Writings on Family, Animals, and Life from The Philadelphia Inquirer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Come to think of it, she did not speak a word. Yet I could have sworn she had the most beautiful voice.
- Julie Klassen
The Silent Governess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.
- Jeff Kinney
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My misery is reaching epidemic proportions.
- Libba Bray
A Great and Terrible Beauty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.
- Jim Butcher
Proven Guilty
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony.
- Jenny Colgan
Meet Me at the Cupcake Café
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
- Demetri Martin
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!
- Richelle Mead
Vampire Academy
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It smells terrible in here.'

Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.
- John Kennedy Toole
A Confederacy of Dunces
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
We are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know.
- W.H. Auden
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Are you okay? You seem ...soggy."
"Soggy?"
"Yes." Heather nodded. "Like you're a depressed spaghetti noodle or something.
- Chelsea Fine
Anew
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mr Lorry asks the witness questions:

Ever been kicked?
Might have been.
Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs?
Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord.
- Charles Dickens
A Tale of Two Cities
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
- Colette
Gigi and The Cat
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Dear Asshole: Thank you for keeping your word and believing me. It was more than I expected. Also, I'm sorry you were inconvenienced by my gluing your locker shut at the beginning of this year. However, I am not sorry that I did it, because it was a lot of fun. Love, Alex.
- Francesca Zappia
Made You Up
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend will be sitting next to you
Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up.
- Cheyenne McCray
Demons Not Included
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?
- Lauren Kate
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you
bring it?"

"My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?"

His smile widened. "I brought mine."

Daphne gasped. "You didn't!"

"I did. Just to torture Mother. I'm going peruse it right in front of her, pull out my quizzing glass—"

"You don't have a quizzing glass."

He grinned—the slow, devastatingly wicked smile that all Bridgerton males seemed to possess. "I bought one just for this occasion."

"Anthony, you absolutely cannot. She will kill you. And then, somehow, she'll find a way to blame me."

"I'm counting on it.
- Julia Quinn
The Duke and I
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.
- Jennifer Egan
A Visit from the Goon Squad
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.
- Cherie Priest
Dreadnought
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.
- Gena Showalter
The Darkest Night
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!
- Morgan Matson
Amy & Roger's Epic Detour
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.
- Jeri Smith-Ready
Requiem for the Devil
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
- E.A. Bucchianeri
Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
In the English language, it all comes down to this: Twenty-six letters, when combined correctly, can create magic. Twenty -six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society.
- John Grogan
Bad Dogs Have More Fun: Selected Writings on Family, Animals, and Life from The Philadelphia Inquirer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Come to think of it, she did not speak a word. Yet I could have sworn she had the most beautiful voice.
- Julie Klassen
The Silent Governess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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55
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57
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