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FUNNY QUOTES

Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
- Charles J. Sykes
Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
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Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?" Isabelle said.
"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.
- Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
- Charles Dickens
A Christmas Carol
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mom says it's because she has PMS.
Do you even know what that means?
"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome
- Nicholas Sparks
The Last Song
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.
- Becca Fitzpatrick
Hush, Hush
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.
- J.R. Ward
Dark Lover
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.
- Jeaniene Frost
Halfway to the Grave
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My rapier wit hides my inner pain.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People, generally, suck.
- Christopher Moore
The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
- Oscar Wilde
The Importance of Being Earnest
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.
- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.
- Brandon Sanderson
Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
So what? All writers are lunatics!
- Cornelia Funke
Inkspell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
- Charles J. Sykes
Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?" Isabelle said.
"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.
- Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
- Charles Dickens
A Christmas Carol
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mom says it's because she has PMS.
Do you even know what that means?
"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome
- Nicholas Sparks
The Last Song
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.
- Becca Fitzpatrick
Hush, Hush
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.
- J.R. Ward
Dark Lover
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.
- Jeaniene Frost
Halfway to the Grave
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My rapier wit hides my inner pain.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People, generally, suck.
- Christopher Moore
The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
- Oscar Wilde
The Importance of Being Earnest
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.
- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.
- Brandon Sanderson
Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
So what? All writers are lunatics!
- Cornelia Funke
Inkspell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
- Charles J. Sykes
Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?" Isabelle said.
"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.
- Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
- Charles Dickens
A Christmas Carol
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Mom says it's because she has PMS.
Do you even know what that means?
"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome
- Nicholas Sparks
The Last Song
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.
- Becca Fitzpatrick
Hush, Hush
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.
- J.R. Ward
Dark Lover
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.
- Jeaniene Frost
Halfway to the Grave
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My rapier wit hides my inner pain.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
People, generally, suck.
- Christopher Moore
The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
- Oscar Wilde
The Importance of Being Earnest
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.
- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.
- Brandon Sanderson
Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
So what? All writers are lunatics!
- Cornelia Funke
Inkspell
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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58
59
60
 		...