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Laughter has a way of making everything feel lighter, even on the most serious days. The quotes below are packed with wit, sarcasm, and playful truth to give you a well-deserved smile. Read on and enjoy a quick dose of humor that doesn’t take life too seriously.   ◀ Back
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HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)
- Terry Pratchett
Hogfather
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Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.
- Pseudonymous Bosch
The Name of This Book Is Secret
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Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You forget, darling.
I am the local psychopath.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
- Joseph Heller
Catch-22
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.
- Lemony Snicket
The Bad Beginning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max
- James Patterson
The Final Warning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sane is boring.
- R. A. Salvatore
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
- Eoin Colfer
The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?
- James Patterson
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You could start a fire with the heat between you two."
"You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.
- Michelle Hodkin
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.
- Charles Schultz
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.
- Libba Bray
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You sneaked into my cabin?”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Percy, you’ll be seventeen in two months. You can’t seriously be worried about getting in trouble with Coach Hedge.”
“Uh, have you seen his baseball bat?”
“Besides, Seaweed Brain, I just thought we could take a walk. We haven’t had any time to be together alone. I want to show you something—my favorite place aboard the ship.”
Percy’s pulse was still in overdrive, but it wasn’t from fear of getting in trouble. “Can I, you know, brush my teeth first?”
“You'd better,” Annabeth said. “Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
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Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.
- Warren Ellis
Transmetropolitan, Vol. 5: Lonely City
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..."
"Repair boy."
"Very funny, Piper.
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
- Rudyard Kipling
Under The Deodars
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
John Bull's Other Island
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
- Dr Suess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)
- Terry Pratchett
Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.
- Pseudonymous Bosch
The Name of This Book Is Secret
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You forget, darling.
I am the local psychopath.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
- Joseph Heller
Catch-22
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.
- Lemony Snicket
The Bad Beginning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max
- James Patterson
The Final Warning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sane is boring.
- R. A. Salvatore
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
- Eoin Colfer
The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?
- James Patterson
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You could start a fire with the heat between you two."
"You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.
- Michelle Hodkin
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.
- Charles Schultz
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.
- Libba Bray
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You sneaked into my cabin?”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Percy, you’ll be seventeen in two months. You can’t seriously be worried about getting in trouble with Coach Hedge.”
“Uh, have you seen his baseball bat?”
“Besides, Seaweed Brain, I just thought we could take a walk. We haven’t had any time to be together alone. I want to show you something—my favorite place aboard the ship.”
Percy’s pulse was still in overdrive, but it wasn’t from fear of getting in trouble. “Can I, you know, brush my teeth first?”
“You'd better,” Annabeth said. “Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.
- Warren Ellis
Transmetropolitan, Vol. 5: Lonely City
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..."
"Repair boy."
"Very funny, Piper.
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
- Rudyard Kipling
Under The Deodars
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
John Bull's Other Island
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
- Dr Suess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)
- Terry Pratchett
Hogfather
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.
- Pseudonymous Bosch
The Name of This Book Is Secret
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You forget, darling.
I am the local psychopath.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
- Joseph Heller
Catch-22
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.
- J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.
- Lemony Snicket
The Bad Beginning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max
- James Patterson
The Final Warning
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Sane is boring.
- R. A. Salvatore
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
- Eoin Colfer
The Eternity Code
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?
- James Patterson
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You could start a fire with the heat between you two."
"You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.
- Michelle Hodkin
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.
- Charles Schultz
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.
- Libba Bray
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
You sneaked into my cabin?”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Percy, you’ll be seventeen in two months. You can’t seriously be worried about getting in trouble with Coach Hedge.”
“Uh, have you seen his baseball bat?”
“Besides, Seaweed Brain, I just thought we could take a walk. We haven’t had any time to be together alone. I want to show you something—my favorite place aboard the ship.”
Percy’s pulse was still in overdrive, but it wasn’t from fear of getting in trouble. “Can I, you know, brush my teeth first?”
“You'd better,” Annabeth said. “Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.
- Rick Riordan
The Mark of Athena
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.
- Warren Ellis
Transmetropolitan, Vol. 5: Lonely City
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..."
"Repair boy."
"Very funny, Piper.
- Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
- Rudyard Kipling
Under The Deodars
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
John Bull's Other Island
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
- Dr Suess
Avg Rating: --Rate This Quote
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70
71
72
73
74
 		...